Well I'm sure you're at home reading this because most of you are home during this pandemic. But in this article I want to talk about another pandemic. It's called COVW-16. That's right, Classic Old Vokswagen 1600. If you're reading this, there is a 90% chance you already have it. Welcome to the rest of us. Very few people can shake this virus, and it is global.
So how long have you had this virus? How did you get infected? For most of us it started at a young age. Maybe our parents had the virus and we watched or helped work on it. Maybe it was a friend? Fact is, once you touch one there is a good chance you have caught the bug. Now I will say, the number of people over the generations has declined as the root of the virus has not been produced in quite a long time. The one fact that remains is once you have caught the bug you will seek out that root no matter how old it is. Fact is more people want the old root versus the newer root.
One problem with this virus is that it has many variations. There is the split virus, the oval virus, the 23 or 21 virus, the KG virus, type 3 virus or even a virus called the THING. Maybe this is why so many people have been affected. I mean what other kind of virus can take you to the streets, off road, race (either in a road race or drag race), or be useful in industry, (water pump, saw mill, air compressor, hell even fly). You can't say that about an American virus. Can you just picture a ford pinto in an off road race? Yeah neither can I.
What kind of people are most susceptible to this virus? The scary thing is that people of all ages and all walks of life are vulnerable to it. In the early years it was mainly hippies and the lower class, but that has now changed. And if you get the 21 or 23 virus, you better plan on spending much of your life’s savings while you are infected.
How bad can this virus get? Well if you got this virus early in life, you probably noticed it started to multiply quickly, affecting your garage, side yard, backyard, maybe even the neighbors yard. It's hard to just have one form of it.
What are the symptoms? You may find yourself waving as you pass by other people with this virus. Another one of the first signs is greasy hands. That can be followed by some bloodshed via small cuts, especially on the knuckles. This usually doesn’t require hospitalization, but you may observe your vocabulary becoming more colorful as your blood pressure rises. You will also likely feel the urge to modify your variation of the virus. Once you start modifying though, it’s hard to stop. You will likely never be done modifying it. Another more serious symptom is that it will affect your bank account. This virus has a way of sucking money right out of it.
Other signs to look for? Most of the time this virus is kept contained in a shop or garage. If you don't see it how can I know it was there? Most of you see this answer coming. You can tell by seeing a small/medium black spot on the floor. Now if it has been there for years that spot tends to grow. If you see multiple spots then you know that virus is multiplying.
Have people died from this virus? Few, but yes. Some have modified the virus and took things too far. There is nothing wrong with modification, just know the limits. The death rate is so low that I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Why are so many people infected by this? Good question. For one, it is easy to get. In the earlier years the virus was even easier, not so much anymore, but people infected with this can't seem to shake it. The whole thing is puzzling to me, and I too have this virus bad. I have at least ten different varieties myself. I go to work everyday and deal with others that have been affected.
Can you ever get rid of this virus? Technically yes, but most don’t want to. Those who do think that they want to usually try to no avail. Some will be successful at eradicating it, just to find that they miss it and will go out and, get this, they will actually re-infect themselves!
To all my other COVW-16 carries, here’s to you. Glad you’re part of the club.